William H. Willimon - "On Being Stuck with Your Parents" (November 6, 1988)
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Transcript
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| ♪ His goodness ♪ | 0:00 | |
| ♪ Lost in His love ♪ | 0:04 | |
| ♪ This is my story ♪ | 0:08 | |
| ♪ This is my song ♪ | 0:13 | |
| ♪ Praising my Savior ♪ | 0:17 | |
| ♪ All the day long ♪ | 0:22 | |
| ♪ This is my story ♪ | 0:26 | |
| ♪ This is my song ♪ | 0:31 | |
| ♪ Praising my Savior ♪ | 0:35 | |
| ♪ All the day long ♪ | 0:41 | |
| - | Good morning and welcome to this service of all saints | 0:57 |
| here in Duke University Chapel. | 0:59 | |
| First thing, if everybody seated in the pews | 1:01 | |
| would sorta slide toward the center, | 1:05 | |
| that will help us to get a few more seats | 1:08 | |
| and that would be much appreciated by others. | 1:11 | |
| Great. | 1:16 | |
| Those of you still standing, if you would look to the sides. | 1:17 | |
| Great, thank you. | 1:25 | |
| Also, an announcement about an error in the bulletin, | 1:30 | |
| the last hymn is number 536. | 1:32 | |
| Not as printed in the bulletin. | 1:36 | |
| We're only two digits off and we consider that close enough. | 1:38 | |
| We want to welcome back to the chapel this morning | 1:42 | |
| my associate, Nancy Ferree-Clarke back to the chapel | 1:44 | |
| after a three-month leave of absence. | 1:49 | |
| Her daughter Elizabeth will be baptized in the chapel | 1:52 | |
| this evening and we're glad to have her back. | 1:54 | |
| And we're glad that you here, particularly, | 1:57 | |
| our alumni and our parents for this great day | 2:00 | |
| of walk of celebration in praise of all the saints. | 2:04 | |
| Let us continue to praise God. | 2:09 | |
| (gospel singing) | 2:14 | |
| (lively organ music) | 5:11 | |
| (congregation singing) | 5:54 | |
| - | The Lord be with you. | 10:47 |
| Congregants | And also with you. | 10:48 |
| - | Let us pray. | 10:50 |
| God of all holiness. | 10:54 | |
| You gave your Saints different gifts on Earth | 10:56 | |
| but one holy city in heaven. | 10:59 | |
| Give us grace to follow their good example. | 11:02 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 11:06 | |
| Your servants Mary and Martha who loved their Lord, | 11:11 | |
| one through active service, | 11:15 | |
| the other through quiet adoration. | 11:17 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 11:20 | |
| Apostle Paul who told what he had heard, | 11:26 | |
| spreading the good news into all the world, | 11:29 | |
| interpreting the gospel to all without distinction | 11:32 | |
| between race or nation. | 11:35 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 11:37 | |
| King David who led your people with courage | 11:41 | |
| though he shared our human weakness, | 11:45 | |
| he was anointed with your spirit | 11:47 | |
| to lead with justice and integrity. | 11:49 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 11:53 | |
| Judas Maccabeus, foe of tyranny and oppression, | 11:57 | |
| refusing to bow to the forces of evil, | 12:02 | |
| he inspired your people to throw off their chains | 12:05 | |
| and to claim their gracious birthright. | 12:08 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 12:11 | |
| (lively organ music) | 12:20 | |
| (congregation singing) | 12:28 | |
| - | Please be seated. | 13:17 |
| Let us bow our heads in prayer. | 13:28 | |
| Heavenly father, on this glorious Sunday morning | 13:33 | |
| when we commemorate the Feast of All Saints Day, | 13:37 | |
| let us think together of those who have preceded us | 13:42 | |
| in their journey to their just reward | 13:45 | |
| in the paradise which awaits | 13:48 | |
| all of your faithful. | 13:50 | |
| Grant to this university, | 13:53 | |
| all who attend here, all who serve here | 13:55 | |
| and all who have attended or served in the past, | 13:59 | |
| the opportunity to worship thee | 14:03 | |
| in the spirit of freedom, | 14:05 | |
| and justice and truth. | 14:08 | |
| And grant that we with all thy saints | 14:10 | |
| may join you in worshiping Father, | 14:14 | |
| Son and Holy spirit. | 14:19 | |
| Amen. | 14:23 | |
| The lesson is taken from the Revelation | 14:28 | |
| to St. John the Divine. | 14:30 | |
| Then I saw a new heaven and a new Earth. | 14:34 | |
| For the first heaven and the first Earth had passed away | 14:38 | |
| and the sea was no more | 14:42 | |
| and I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem | 14:45 | |
| coming down out of heaven from God, | 14:49 | |
| prepared as a bride adorned for her husband | 14:51 | |
| and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, | 14:56 | |
| behold the dwelling of God is with men. | 14:59 | |
| He will dwell with them and they shall be his people | 15:03 | |
| and God himself will be with them, | 15:07 | |
| he will wipe away every tear from their eyes | 15:10 | |
| and death shall be no more, | 15:14 | |
| neither shall there be mourning nor crying | 15:17 | |
| nor pain anymore, | 15:19 | |
| for the former things have passed away | 15:22 | |
| and he who sat upon the throne said, | 15:26 | |
| behold, I make all things new. | 15:29 | |
| Also he said, write this for these words | 15:33 | |
| are trustworthy, and true. | 15:36 | |
| And he said to me, it is done, | 15:39 | |
| I am the alpha and the omega, | 15:42 | |
| the beginning and the end. | 15:46 | |
| This ends the reading of the lesson. | 15:49 | |
| (tranquil meditative music) | 16:04 | |
| ♪ Oh when the saints ♪ | 16:26 | |
| ♪ Go marching in ♪ | 16:31 | |
| ♪ Oh when the saints go marching in ♪ | 16:38 | |
| ♪ Oh Lord ♪ | 16:48 | |
| ♪ I want ♪ | 16:50 | |
| ♪ To be ♪ | 16:53 | |
| ♪ In that number ♪ | 16:55 | |
| ♪ When the saints go marching in ♪ | 17:02 | |
| ♪ Oh when the saints ♪ | 17:18 | |
| ♪ Go marching in ♪ | 17:20 | |
| ♪ Oh when the saints go marching in ♪ | 17:23 | |
| ♪ Oh Lord, I want to be in that number ♪ | 17:29 | |
| ♪ When the saints go marching in ♪ | 17:35 | |
| ♪ Oh when the saints ♪ | 17:49 | |
| ♪ Go marching in ♪ | 17:52 | |
| ♪ Oh when the saints go marching ♪ | 17:55 | |
| ♪ They go marching in ♪ | 17:58 | |
| ♪ I want to be in that number ♪ | 18:01 | |
| ♪ When the saints go marching in ♪ | 18:07 | |
| ♪ Oh when the saints ♪ | 18:21 | |
| ♪ When the saints ♪ | 18:23 | |
| ♪ Go marching in, go marching in ♪ | 18:24 | |
| ♪ Oh when the saints go marching in ♪ | 18:26 | |
| ♪ Oh Lord, I want to be in that number ♪ | 18:31 | |
| ♪ Oh when the saints go marching in ♪ | 18:38 | |
| ♪ Oh Lord ♪ | 18:54 | |
| ♪ I want to be ♪ | 18:56 | |
| ♪ In that number ♪ | 19:03 | |
| ♪ When the saints ♪ | 19:13 | |
| ♪ Go ♪ | 19:16 | |
| ♪ Marching ♪ | 19:17 | |
| ♪ In ♪ | 19:22 | |
| - | I got a call from Dean Sue Wasiolek, she said, | 19:50 |
| look, we've already stirred up the parents enough | 19:56 | |
| when they heard from that Marxist philosophy professor | 19:58 | |
| on Friday, we don't need any other controversy this weekend. | 20:01 | |
| She was concerned about the title of the sermon. | 20:07 | |
| So, if you're a parent and you don't like the sermon, | 20:12 | |
| please don't call anyone about it. | 20:14 | |
| (congregation laughing) | 20:17 | |
| For the first time since I've been minister here, | 20:20 | |
| Parents Weekend falls on All Saints | 20:23 | |
| and that's a happy convergence. | 20:27 | |
| The presence of our parents is always a reminder | 20:31 | |
| that we are indebted to others, | 20:35 | |
| we're indebted to our parents | 20:41 | |
| for our lives, our looks, our values, | 20:43 | |
| our tuition. | 20:47 | |
| Parents remind us that nobody is self-made. | 20:51 | |
| Saints are also reminders of our indebtedness. | 20:58 | |
| We began the service today | 21:04 | |
| with thanksgiving for our saints | 21:06 | |
| among the thousands that stare down at us | 21:11 | |
| from their perches in the chapel windows, | 21:15 | |
| Samson and Sarah and Judas Maccabeus and David. | 21:19 | |
| Their presence here in this chapel reminds us | 21:25 | |
| that faith is a gift. | 21:29 | |
| You believe because somebody told you this story | 21:33 | |
| and somebody lived this story before you | 21:37 | |
| in such a way that made it worthy of your imitation, | 21:40 | |
| saints remind us that nobody is a self-made Christian. | 21:44 | |
| Those of you who know something about the Bible | 21:52 | |
| and its account of theses saints, | 21:54 | |
| may be less than pleased | 21:59 | |
| to have me suggest that a Samson or a Sarah | 22:02 | |
| are your great grandparents in faith, | 22:05 | |
| oh sure, they may look saintly | 22:10 | |
| as they stare down at us from the chapel windows | 22:12 | |
| but in their day, few people probably called them saints. | 22:16 | |
| Maybe people seem more saintly | 22:22 | |
| after they've been dead 1,000 years | 22:24 | |
| but if you had to live with them, | 22:28 | |
| if you had to stare at them across a breakfast table | 22:29 | |
| rather than across a gothic chapel, | 22:32 | |
| if you had to be with them in everyday life, | 22:35 | |
| well, which reminds me of one thing | 22:37 | |
| that these biblical saints have in common, | 22:42 | |
| and that is they all had lousy family lives. | 22:49 | |
| I mentioned Samson and David. | 22:54 | |
| The mess that they made of their families is legendary | 22:56 | |
| and great grandmother Sarah, | 23:01 | |
| she not only managed to be the grandmother | 23:03 | |
| of a whole nation but she managed | 23:06 | |
| to pass on most of her psychoses to her children. | 23:08 | |
| If you knew their stories as the Bible tells them, | 23:13 | |
| you might question why they are our saints. | 23:18 | |
| Of course, we don't choose our saints. | 23:24 | |
| We don't choose saints, they are given to us | 23:29 | |
| through the tradition of the synagogue and the church. | 23:34 | |
| Ah leave them alone you say, | 23:40 | |
| it's bad taste to speak ill | 23:41 | |
| of your great grandparents in faith, | 23:43 | |
| and maybe that attitude is what differentiates us | 23:46 | |
| from the Bible. | 23:51 | |
| Today when we speak of family, parents, children, | 23:54 | |
| we're apt to speak sentimentally, | 23:59 | |
| unrealistically, if not downright deceitfully, | 24:03 | |
| ours is the happy family. | 24:07 | |
| Ozzie and Harriet, June Ward, Wally and the Beaver, | 24:11 | |
| George and Barbara, Kitty and Duke. | 24:17 | |
| (congregation laughing) | 24:20 | |
| But when the Bible tells about families | 24:23 | |
| about what it's like to be husbands | 24:26 | |
| and wives and parents and children, | 24:27 | |
| it speaks honestly. | 24:32 | |
| Samson, David, Sarah, Ruth, David, Bathsheba. | 24:34 | |
| And our dishonesty about our families | 24:42 | |
| is somewhat surprising considering the state | 24:43 | |
| of American families today. | 24:46 | |
| Never has the divorce rate been higher, | 24:49 | |
| never had we had more problems with elder, | 24:52 | |
| spouse, child abuse. | 24:55 | |
| Ask any presidential candidate, | 24:59 | |
| he'll tell you American families are in a mess. | 25:01 | |
| You wonder what on Earth politicians talked about | 25:05 | |
| before they discovered American families are in a mess. | 25:07 | |
| Though apparently not their families. | 25:11 | |
| We've certainly seen enough of their happy families | 25:14 | |
| during the campaign. | 25:16 | |
| Now I doubt that either presidential candidate knows | 25:18 | |
| what to do about American families | 25:21 | |
| not because the candidates don't care | 25:25 | |
| but it's certainly not because they have undeniably | 25:28 | |
| the happiest families in America. | 25:30 | |
| But because when it comes to understanding | 25:35 | |
| what it's like to be a husband, a wife, | 25:36 | |
| a father, a mother, a child in a family, | 25:40 | |
| the candidates, as we ourselves, | 25:44 | |
| really don't know to think about the family. | 25:48 | |
| In the name of freedom, | 25:53 | |
| we Americans created something called the individual, | 25:54 | |
| the individual, nothing is more important | 26:00 | |
| to Americans of the political left | 26:02 | |
| or the political right | 26:04 | |
| than freedom of the individual, | 26:05 | |
| the sovereignty of the individual | 26:08 | |
| and preserving his or her options | 26:11 | |
| and freedoms and independence | 26:14 | |
| and as a result, relations between husbands | 26:17 | |
| and wives have degenerated into a contract | 26:20 | |
| between two individuals who jealously guard | 26:25 | |
| each one's rights and prerogatives, | 26:30 | |
| relations and families come to resemble relations | 26:34 | |
| in the rest of society, | 26:37 | |
| just a conglomeration of friendly strangers. | 26:39 | |
| We've created a world in which privacy is sought more | 26:44 | |
| than community, where no one is asked | 26:47 | |
| to suffer or sacrifice for anybody | 26:51 | |
| and where we desire both intimacy | 26:56 | |
| and still to be able to shake hands and say goodbye | 27:01 | |
| with no bad feelings. | 27:04 | |
| And I tell you that such thinking makes relationships | 27:07 | |
| between parents and children incomprehensible. | 27:10 | |
| I think the odd factor which makes being a child | 27:17 | |
| or a parent in this society so unusual is this. | 27:21 | |
| You didn't choose your parents | 27:28 | |
| and they didn't choose you. | 27:32 | |
| Now think about it. | 27:36 | |
| You don't choose relatives, they're just given to you. | 27:39 | |
| Even if you adopt a child, | 27:44 | |
| that child is going to grow | 27:46 | |
| to be so unlike that baby | 27:49 | |
| that you brought home from the adoption agency | 27:52 | |
| that you will continually know | 27:56 | |
| that this child is someone who has been given to you | 27:58 | |
| rather than someone who has been selected. | 28:01 | |
| As parents and children in a modern world which worships | 28:06 | |
| individual rights and freedom and choices | 28:10 | |
| and prerogatives, nothing is odder | 28:13 | |
| than learning to love somebody you didn't choose. | 28:18 | |
| To a surprising degree, | 28:23 | |
| this lack of choice extends even | 28:24 | |
| to the person whom we marry. | 28:27 | |
| Most people think that the toughest part | 28:31 | |
| about getting married is deciding | 28:33 | |
| whom you ought to marry, making the right choice, | 28:35 | |
| making the right choice in marriage | 28:39 | |
| and when asked what we're doing, | 28:43 | |
| we say that we're deciding whether or not we are in love | 28:45 | |
| which means are we emotionally attached? | 28:51 | |
| Curiously the church has traditionally cared less | 28:55 | |
| about our emotionally attachments. | 29:00 | |
| What the church has cared about | 29:03 | |
| is not to whom you have deep feelings for | 29:07 | |
| because we know how notoriously fickle are feelings | 29:12 | |
| but rather are you capable | 29:17 | |
| of sustaining the kind of commitment required for love? | 29:21 | |
| In a marriage ceremony, | 29:29 | |
| there's no place the pastor stands up | 29:31 | |
| and says John, do you love Susan? | 29:33 | |
| The pastor rather asks John, will you love Susan | 29:37 | |
| and that's odd because you see, | 29:42 | |
| love is defined here | 29:44 | |
| as something that you just promise to do, | 29:46 | |
| love is a future activity, | 29:49 | |
| love is the result of marriage, not its cause | 29:51 | |
| and I know that sounds weird | 29:56 | |
| because we think the toughest part about say a relationship | 29:59 | |
| like marriage is choosing the right person, | 30:01 | |
| choosing the right person, | 30:06 | |
| but the funny thing is that for most | 30:09 | |
| of the church's history, | 30:10 | |
| marriage occurred among people | 30:12 | |
| who have hardly even known each other before the wedding. | 30:14 | |
| You're no doubt grateful that... | 30:18 | |
| Are they? | 30:28 | |
| Although they would be loath to admit it. | 30:31 | |
| One reason parents send their children | 30:34 | |
| to prestigious universities | 30:36 | |
| (congregation laughing) | 30:39 | |
| is so that they will meet prestigious people | 30:44 | |
| of the opposite sex. | 30:46 | |
| I mean we all know it's helpful | 30:50 | |
| to try to marry somebody | 30:52 | |
| who has similar interests and recreation | 30:53 | |
| and religion and background to your own | 30:55 | |
| and through piano lessons and summer camp | 30:59 | |
| and a BA degree, parents give their children | 31:02 | |
| the illusion that the choice of someone to marry | 31:05 | |
| is not really being arranged | 31:09 | |
| and I'm not being cynical here. | 31:12 | |
| In fact, cultures which practice arranged marriages, | 31:16 | |
| I hate to remind you, | 31:19 | |
| have a better track record on marriage than we. | 31:20 | |
| I know a friend of mine who was a missionary in India | 31:23 | |
| was asking me | 31:28 | |
| who should be entrusted with such important matters | 31:31 | |
| as whom to marry? | 31:36 | |
| Someone who has never been married | 31:39 | |
| and has no life experience except school | 31:40 | |
| or someone who's been around 50 years | 31:43 | |
| and has actually been married? | 31:45 | |
| I didn't know what to say to him. | 31:46 | |
| I say rather than be embarrassed | 31:51 | |
| about these unchosen arranged aspects | 31:53 | |
| of our human relationships, | 31:57 | |
| maybe we should be upfront | 32:01 | |
| about how much of life we really didn't choose | 32:04 | |
| because it enables us to think clearly | 32:08 | |
| about the peculiar ethical demands | 32:12 | |
| that are placed upon us | 32:16 | |
| by being a parent, by being a child, | 32:17 | |
| by being husbands and wives. | 32:22 | |
| Peculiar because you're probably conditioned | 32:25 | |
| to think that some action really isn't ethical | 32:28 | |
| unless you have freedom of choice, | 32:31 | |
| unless you have exercised your own decision. | 32:33 | |
| Mama, I want to do it myself | 32:36 | |
| unless you decide for yourself | 32:38 | |
| that this is right for you. | 32:40 | |
| The trouble with that point of view | 32:45 | |
| is that marriage, just as being a parent, | 32:46 | |
| requires that we find some means of making sense | 32:50 | |
| out of being stuck | 32:54 | |
| with certain people for no good reason or justification | 32:56 | |
| other than were are with them | 33:00 | |
| and most of us learn to make the best of it. | 33:03 | |
| And I'm saying that right there | 33:06 | |
| is a picture of us at our very best. | 33:09 | |
| Right there is when we learn to be faithful, | 33:14 | |
| to love strangers | 33:18 | |
| even though we didn't choose them as someone | 33:22 | |
| we might have preferred to love. | 33:24 | |
| I know that sometimes I'll ask fellow pastors | 33:27 | |
| what do you do during premarital counseling | 33:30 | |
| and they will say things like I try | 33:33 | |
| to be certain that the couple knows | 33:36 | |
| what they're getting into when they get married. | 33:38 | |
| I don't know that pastors know | 33:42 | |
| what they're getting into when they get married. | 33:43 | |
| Those of you who are married | 33:47 | |
| or have been married, did you know | 33:48 | |
| what you were getting into? | 33:50 | |
| No. | 33:51 | |
| My friend Stanley Hauerwas | 33:55 | |
| has a wonderful essay | 33:58 | |
| in which he argues | 34:00 | |
| that we always marry the wrong person. | 34:02 | |
| Hauerwas means by that we never marry quite the person | 34:07 | |
| that we thought we were getting married to | 34:12 | |
| because marriage always changes people. | 34:15 | |
| It just does something to somebody | 34:21 | |
| to be married, to be promised to somebody | 34:23 | |
| to be faithful. | 34:26 | |
| And so, you wake up one day and you realize | 34:28 | |
| that the person next to you is really not the person | 34:30 | |
| that you married | 34:33 | |
| five years ago. | 34:36 | |
| But the truth is you're not the same person either | 34:38 | |
| and what do you do then? | 34:41 | |
| If marriage involves the correct choice | 34:43 | |
| of the exact person | 34:46 | |
| for the right reasons to whom you're emotionally attached, | 34:48 | |
| then you're in big trouble | 34:52 | |
| because the person has changed. | 34:55 | |
| And you've changed. | 34:58 | |
| Nobody I know ever chose to be married | 35:01 | |
| to a person addicted to alcohol. | 35:04 | |
| Nobody ever decided to be married | 35:07 | |
| to a person with terminal illness | 35:09 | |
| but sometimes those are the people you get. | 35:11 | |
| And I tell ya, I think your parents | 35:16 | |
| would want me to remind you | 35:18 | |
| that being a parent is a lot like that too. | 35:19 | |
| Parents never get quite the children | 35:23 | |
| they thought they were getting | 35:26 | |
| when they gave birth to a baby. | 35:28 | |
| That's why I've always been uneasy | 35:32 | |
| with the term planned parenthood. | 35:34 | |
| (congregation laughing) | 35:36 | |
| You get my point. | 35:39 | |
| Planned parenthood as if it's only good | 35:41 | |
| to have children if you have planned for them, | 35:44 | |
| as if you have chosen | 35:46 | |
| and decided for them. | 35:49 | |
| Who plans to have a severely retarded child? | 35:52 | |
| Who decides to have a rebellious child | 35:57 | |
| or a child who plays drums in a rock band? | 36:01 | |
| But sometimes that's a child that you get | 36:08 | |
| and then what do you do then? | 36:11 | |
| You can choose an automobile, | 36:16 | |
| you can maybe plan a career | 36:19 | |
| but you cannot choose a child. | 36:21 | |
| You've got to receive a child. | 36:26 | |
| The Bible is right. | 36:29 | |
| A child is a gift, | 36:33 | |
| not a possession, not a project, not an object, | 36:36 | |
| ambitious achievement-oriented people take note. | 36:41 | |
| Nobody knows what he or she is getting into | 36:46 | |
| as a husband, or a wife, as a parent or a child. | 36:48 | |
| And don't get me wrong, I'm all in favor | 36:52 | |
| of marriage preparation as far it goes | 36:54 | |
| and I think we ought to have more of it, | 36:57 | |
| I mean I'm in the marriage preparation business | 36:59 | |
| but the trick is to somehow prepare for a lifetime | 37:02 | |
| of commitment to a person who is a stranger, | 37:06 | |
| who keeps changing. | 37:10 | |
| How can you prepare for how annoying | 37:14 | |
| another person is going to be | 37:17 | |
| and so early in the morning too. | 37:18 | |
| (congregation laughing) | 37:20 | |
| How can you prepare for all the ways a child | 37:23 | |
| is going to challenge you, | 37:26 | |
| disappoint you, worst of all, | 37:28 | |
| come to look just like you | 37:31 | |
| only to desert you for college. | 37:33 | |
| You can't. | 37:36 | |
| You can't. | 37:39 | |
| And because you can't control, | 37:43 | |
| what you need | 37:48 | |
| is some means of being part of an adventure | 37:50 | |
| which you can't control | 37:54 | |
| and you don't have to control. | 37:57 | |
| The end result you do not fully plan or understand. | 37:59 | |
| Morally we move into the future on the basis | 38:04 | |
| of such commitments. | 38:07 | |
| Commitments which are made without really knowing | 38:10 | |
| what you're getting into. | 38:12 | |
| There your parents sit | 38:16 | |
| thinking how much they have changed since they met you | 38:19 | |
| at the maternity ward 20 years ago. | 38:24 | |
| And I tell you, 20 years from now, | 38:28 | |
| you'll be surprised | 38:31 | |
| at all the ways that your parents | 38:33 | |
| have been the most important people in your life, | 38:35 | |
| even though you had absolutely nothing to do | 38:39 | |
| with their being your parents. | 38:42 | |
| Marriage, family are like that. | 38:45 | |
| What you need when you marry or have a child | 38:49 | |
| is some means of turning your fate | 38:54 | |
| into your destiny. | 38:57 | |
| And my claim this morning | 39:02 | |
| is that the Christian faith is such a means. | 39:04 | |
| The Christian faith can teach us to live together | 39:10 | |
| as parents, children, husbands and wives | 39:12 | |
| because just as you didn't choose a Samson or a Sarah | 39:16 | |
| to be your saints, to be your great grandparents | 39:19 | |
| in faith, you didn't choose Jesus to be your savior. | 39:23 | |
| Jesus came to us, | 39:29 | |
| Jesus came to us, not the other way around. | 39:32 | |
| John's gospel makes this explicit. | 39:36 | |
| One day Jesus turned to his disciples and said, | 39:40 | |
| folks, you didn't choose me, I chose you | 39:43 | |
| that you should go and bear fruit. | 39:49 | |
| Life cannot be mainly about freedom of choice | 39:55 | |
| and about our decision, | 40:00 | |
| since the Bible goes to great lengths to demonstrate | 40:04 | |
| that God must save us by what we cannot have | 40:08 | |
| by our own devices. | 40:11 | |
| The Bible and its stories of saints | 40:14 | |
| like Samson and Sarah is a long story | 40:17 | |
| of God's unrelenting, continuing determination | 40:20 | |
| to love us even when we are unloving and unlovable. | 40:25 | |
| It is also the story of God's continued determination | 40:31 | |
| to make us into a people | 40:37 | |
| who can be depended upon to love even strangers | 40:40 | |
| since we have learned in Christ | 40:45 | |
| what it's like to be a stranger | 40:48 | |
| and to be loved anyway. | 40:50 | |
| Remember that we were on the outside, | 40:55 | |
| we didn't deserve to be loved | 40:57 | |
| and he came to us and he loved us | 41:00 | |
| even when we didn't deserve it | 41:02 | |
| and so, we come to his table today | 41:05 | |
| with empty hands and hungry hearts, | 41:08 | |
| needing God to do for us | 41:11 | |
| what we cannot do to our own efforts and determination | 41:13 | |
| and striving and because he has chosen us | 41:16 | |
| and continues to feed us at his table, | 41:21 | |
| we are enabled to be free at last | 41:26 | |
| from our modern American obsessions | 41:30 | |
| with safety and control | 41:32 | |
| in order to risk being faithful | 41:35 | |
| even to people whom we can't control, | 41:39 | |
| even to those whom we didn't choose. | 41:43 | |
| To be faithful. | 41:47 | |
| Amen. | 41:49 | |
| (tranquil organ music) | 41:51 | |
| ♪ Amazing grace ♪ | 42:12 | |
| ♪ How sweet the sound ♪ | 42:16 | |
| ♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪ | 42:20 | |
| ♪ I once was lost ♪ | 42:30 | |
| ♪ But now I'm found ♪ | 42:35 | |
| ♪ Was blind but now I see ♪ | 42:39 | |
| ♪ Through many dangers, toils and snares ♪ | 42:49 | |
| ♪ I have already come ♪ | 43:00 | |
| ♪ T'was grace that brought me safe thus far ♪ | 43:09 | |
| ♪ And grace will lead me home ♪ | 43:19 | |
| (congregation singing) | 43:29 | |
| Minister | The Lord be with you. | 44:16 |
| Congregation | And also with you. | 44:18 |
| - | Let us pray. | 44:20 |
| Holy God, we pray for your human family everywhere. | 44:22 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 44:28 | |
| Grant that all who are baptized into Christ | 44:30 | |
| may faithfully serve you. | 44:34 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 44:36 | |
| Give us grace to do your will | 44:41 | |
| in all that we undertake. | 44:43 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 44:46 | |
| Have compassion on those who suffer | 44:51 | |
| from any grief or trouble. | 44:54 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 44:56 | |
| Give to the departed eternal rest. | 45:00 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 45:03 | |
| We praise you for your saints who have entered into joy. | 45:07 | |
| (congregation mumbles) | 45:10 | |
| Let us pray for our own needs and those of others. | 45:15 | |
| In the name of Jesus Christ we pray. | 45:27 | |
| All | Amen. | 45:29 |
| - | Christ invites to his table all who love him | 45:32 |
| and who desire to live in peace with one another. | 45:34 | |
| Let us stand and offer each other signs | 45:38 | |
| of God's peace and love. | 45:40 | |
| (congregation mumbling) | 45:43 |
Item Info
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