Howard C. Wilkinson - "Christianity and Sex" (March 13, 1960)
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Transcript
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- | I am very grateful to observe that | 0:21 |
some of our magnificent players | 0:23 | |
and some of our numerous spectators were able to | 0:26 | |
return from Charlotte in time to get to chapel this morning. | 0:30 | |
And we're able to get to chapel | 0:36 | |
here in Squaw Valley, North Carolina, | 0:37 | |
No minister of the gospel ever needs to give an explanation | 0:44 | |
for walking into the pulpit of a Christian Church | 0:48 | |
and preaching on the subject of Christianity and sex. | 0:52 | |
It is as proper a topic in a church pulpit as the subject of | 0:57 | |
Christianity and the life to come. | 1:04 | |
However, | 1:08 | |
I would like to note in passing that we have not had a | 1:09 | |
sermon in this chapel on this theme | 1:14 | |
during the past three years. | 1:17 | |
And in view of the fact that almost every time I have been | 1:19 | |
invited by a denominational group to speak to their group, | 1:24 | |
it has been requested that I speak on | 1:31 | |
some phase of this topic. | 1:33 | |
I believe there is an interest on the part of students | 1:36 | |
in knowing what Christianity has to say about sex. | 1:39 | |
And I believe that students and adults are entitled to know | 1:43 | |
what Christianity has to say about this important subject. | 1:49 | |
And for this reason, | 1:54 | |
I have prepared a sermon which will deal in a general way | 1:55 | |
with an orientation to the interpretation that Christianity | 2:00 | |
makes of sex. | 2:05 | |
There are four basic presuppositions we should keep in mind | 2:09 | |
as we think about this subject. | 2:13 | |
The first is that everything in the world, | 2:16 | |
including the instincts, | 2:20 | |
the passions and drives of the physical body were created by | 2:22 | |
Almighty God. | 2:26 | |
And he is quoted as | 2:29 | |
(indistinct) | 2:33 | |
everything that he had made that it is very good. | 2:34 | |
The second basic presupposition is that it is the intention | 2:39 | |
of God that we should praise him, | 2:45 | |
not by being sad and downcast, | 2:49 | |
but by being happy and joyful. | 2:53 | |
He would have us follow the thrilling advice of Beethoven | 2:57 | |
that we should praise the Lord with holy songs of joy. | 3:01 | |
John Wesley was famous for his saying that sour religion is | 3:08 | |
the... the devil's religion. | 3:12 | |
Now the third basic presupposition that we should keep in | 3:17 | |
mind, as we begin to think about Christianity and sex is | 3:20 | |
that God never places us in situations | 3:25 | |
nor endows us with instincts | 3:31 | |
that create temptations | 3:35 | |
we are powerless to overcome. | 3:37 | |
It is his revelation that we are never tempted above that | 3:41 | |
which we are able to bear. | 3:47 | |
The fourth basic presupposition | 3:51 | |
I would like for you to keep in mind, | 3:53 | |
not simply between now and 12 o'clock, | 3:54 | |
but for the rest of your life is, | 3:57 | |
there is a time | 4:00 | |
and a place | 4:03 | |
for every good value of life. | 4:06 | |
Some things which are wholesome and very good in one place | 4:11 | |
are unwholesome and very bad in another place. | 4:17 | |
For example, | 4:22 | |
a shovel full of very rich earth | 4:23 | |
is a blessing in the garden, | 4:26 | |
but it would be a curse if you found it in the middle of the | 4:28 | |
dining room floor, | 4:31 | |
it is entirely in order to find egg and jelly smeared on a | 4:36 | |
breakfast plate at 7.30 in the morning. | 4:40 | |
But if you see egg and jelly smeared on a plate | 4:44 | |
at 11 o'clock, you normally say the plate is dirty. | 4:47 | |
Sexual intimacy inside the vows of marriage is one thing. | 4:55 | |
Sexual intimacy outside the vows of marriage is an entirely | 5:03 | |
different reality. | 5:08 | |
Now these basic presuppositions should be kept in mind as we | 5:12 | |
come directly then to our topic. | 5:17 | |
What is it that Christianity has to say about sex? | 5:20 | |
Very simply stated it could be put in these words. | 5:26 | |
God created men and women and endowed us with certain | 5:31 | |
physical capacities, which are mutually attractive | 5:37 | |
and by means of which when bodies are joined, | 5:42 | |
the human race may be perpetuated upon the earth | 5:47 | |
and the love of a man for his wife and vice versa, | 5:51 | |
may be expressed and deepen. | 5:55 | |
Our Lord Jesus Christ himself said, | 6:00 | |
Have you not heard that God made them | 6:02 | |
male and female | 6:07 | |
and said for this reason, | 6:10 | |
that is for the reason that he made them of two opposite, | 6:14 | |
but complimentary sexes, | 6:18 | |
for this reason shall a man leave | 6:21 | |
his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife. | 6:23 | |
And the two shall be one flesh. | 6:30 | |
So they are no longer two but one flesh. | 6:35 | |
Now this joining of flesh is considered | 6:42 | |
in the Christian understanding of life | 6:48 | |
to be an experience reserved | 6:50 | |
exclusively for monogamous marriage. | 6:52 | |
This is the Christian view of sex. | 6:57 | |
The apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians represents | 7:03 | |
biblical Christianity | 7:08 | |
when he says that neither fornicators nor adulterers shall | 7:09 | |
inherit the kingdom of God. | 7:14 | |
Now fornicators of course are persons who give their bodies | 7:17 | |
to each other before marriage. | 7:21 | |
Adulterers are persons who are married and | 7:23 | |
who give their bodies to others than their spouses. | 7:27 | |
And said the apostle Paul, | 7:32 | |
representing all of biblical Christianity, | 7:34 | |
either and both are outside the realm of the kingdom of God. | 7:37 | |
I think it is worthwhile pointing out at this juncture that | 7:45 | |
the negative aspects of the Christian teaching concerning | 7:48 | |
sex are not intended primarily to thwart the sex instinct | 7:51 | |
or desire or drive, | 7:58 | |
but rather to protect and guarantee the fulfillment of it in | 8:00 | |
Christian marriage. | 8:04 | |
This is the important point to remember. | 8:07 | |
Because Christian marriage, when it is conceived | 8:12 | |
as it ought to be, is the most thrilling and the most | 8:15 | |
wonderful experience that can come to an individual, | 8:19 | |
either male or female in this life on earth. | 8:23 | |
There is no kind of joy or happiness, | 8:29 | |
no fulfillment of life that can compare with that | 8:32 | |
which is possible inside the circle of love | 8:36 | |
which is created by a really Christian marriage. | 8:40 | |
Within Christian marriage, | 8:46 | |
there is the possibility of the fulfillment of all the basic | 8:49 | |
psychogenic needs of mankind. | 8:53 | |
In a marriage of trust and of love, | 8:57 | |
there is the satisfaction of the desire for someone to share | 9:02 | |
your joys and your sorrows. | 9:07 | |
There is the possibility of rearing children | 9:10 | |
in a normal and healthy environment. | 9:14 | |
In Christian marriage | 9:18 | |
there is the possibility of the expression of the id without | 9:19 | |
being odd. | 9:24 | |
There is the possibility of living at peace with your | 9:26 | |
superego, | 9:29 | |
the possibility of being a creative citizen in a way which | 9:31 | |
is probably not possible any other way in life. | 9:37 | |
There was a typographical error in the local newspaper | 9:44 | |
last September, | 9:50 | |
which I think says this better than anything else that comes | 9:52 | |
to my mind just now. | 9:56 | |
On September 6th | 9:59 | |
there was a story in the Durham paper reporting | 10:00 | |
a marriage that took place in Asheboro in a Quaker church. | 10:04 | |
The headline writer inadvertently omitted the name of the | 10:10 | |
groom, | 10:14 | |
so that the caption to the story read like this. | 10:16 | |
Quaker service unites Lilian Borough. | 10:21 | |
There was more truth there, than was intended. | 10:29 | |
There is nothing like a Christian marriage, | 10:34 | |
whether it's Quaker or Presbyterian or Methodist to unite an | 10:38 | |
individual within a marriage and all of his basic necessary | 10:43 | |
psychogenic requirements, | 10:48 | |
nothing that does it quite like the Christian marriage. | 10:51 | |
It not only unites two people to each other, | 10:55 | |
but unites each individual within himself or herself. | 10:58 | |
Well, | 11:05 | |
a great many young people see very clearly this | 11:06 | |
Christian view of sex and they would like to | 11:10 | |
adopt it as the pattern for their own living, | 11:13 | |
but there is a problem connected with it. | 11:17 | |
They see another picture with equal clarity. | 11:22 | |
Fornication and adultery are very widespread. | 11:28 | |
They hear the names of Freud and Kinsey bandied about, | 11:33 | |
and without knowing specifically what either one of them | 11:39 | |
said or wrote or without knowing what other scientists | 11:43 | |
working in this same area have said about the research and | 11:49 | |
the conclusions of Freud and Kinsey, | 11:52 | |
they adopt a generalized impression | 11:56 | |
that the practice of sexual intimacy, | 12:01 | |
whether inside or outside of marriage, | 12:04 | |
is the universal practice that the sex instinct is a | 12:08 | |
kind of tidal wave forever rushing onward, | 12:14 | |
drowning your resolutions and your better judgment and your | 12:17 | |
good intentions. | 12:23 | |
Well, | 12:25 | |
is that the state in which we find ourselves? | 12:28 | |
Is man possessed by an uncontrollable sex instinct | 12:33 | |
which God has created, and which absolutely dominates him? | 12:38 | |
That assertion would be seriously open to question | 12:45 | |
by psychiatrists | 12:49 | |
and psychologists | 12:52 | |
and marriage counselors. | 12:55 | |
Every one of these people working in this field are quite | 12:57 | |
aware of the fact that a large percentage of the illicit | 13:01 | |
affairs which are entered into, | 13:05 | |
are entered into for reasons entirely | 13:09 | |
different from that of the sex instinct. | 13:13 | |
This may be surprising to some of you, | 13:16 | |
but it is not surprising to persons who work with individual | 13:18 | |
problems as a part of their vocation. | 13:23 | |
Here for example, is a young man who hates his father. | 13:26 | |
His father has not allowed him to have the boat he wanted | 13:31 | |
or the car he wanted or to go to the school he wanted, | 13:36 | |
hasn't allowed him to do a great many things he wanted to do | 13:41 | |
or has made him do things he didn't want to do | 13:44 | |
and he hates his father. He rebels against him. | 13:46 | |
He is in a state of emotional rebellion against his father, | 13:49 | |
and he wants to do something that will hurt him. | 13:52 | |
Well, he knows that his father will be extremely upset | 13:57 | |
if his son should transgress in this area. | 14:01 | |
And so he deliberately, | 14:05 | |
though not always consciously | 14:07 | |
enters into an illicit relationship to | 14:09 | |
clobber his dad, | 14:12 | |
or here is a husband who has done something that has | 14:16 | |
outraged his wife enormously. | 14:20 | |
She is seething with resentment and wants to get even. | 14:23 | |
Counselors know that very often such wives, | 14:28 | |
or if it's reversed, the husband | 14:32 | |
will enter into an illicit affair with someone | 14:34 | |
perhaps whom he or she despises | 14:37 | |
simply to get even | 14:41 | |
with the mate who has done something to anger them, | 14:43 | |
or here is a man who basically feels inferior. | 14:48 | |
This is one of the most typical cases of illicit sex | 14:53 | |
relations for reasons other than the sex instinct. | 14:57 | |
This man feels inferior. | 15:02 | |
He doesn't feel he's really and fully a man. | 15:04 | |
And so in neurotic fashion, | 15:09 | |
he seeks a wide variety of extra marital relationships | 15:11 | |
to bolster his sagging ego. | 15:15 | |
And ironically, | 15:19 | |
the reason behind it is not that he is possessed of a | 15:20 | |
tremendous sex urge, | 15:24 | |
but that he feels inferior at this point. | 15:26 | |
Any psychiatrist knows that there are a great many | 15:34 | |
young ladies who leave the path of decency | 15:37 | |
and become illicit | 15:42 | |
for no other reason than that | 15:44 | |
they do not feel loved or accepted by anyone, | 15:47 | |
human or divine. | 15:51 | |
They either did not receive affection and acceptance at home | 15:55 | |
from their parents, their brothers, or their sisters, | 16:00 | |
or they received so much of it that when they left home and | 16:04 | |
came to college, by comparison | 16:07 | |
they feel quite unloved and unaccepted. | 16:09 | |
And so feeling that this is the surest way to be accepted, | 16:14 | |
at least on some level and at least for a short length of | 16:18 | |
time, they offer their bodies. | 16:21 | |
The last of these motives that I wish to mention now | 16:27 | |
is the motive of being afraid to be left out | 16:33 | |
and how we do fear being left out. | 16:39 | |
From the age of about two on through life | 16:45 | |
we find boys and girls, young men and young women, | 16:49 | |
old men and old women doing this, that and the other | 16:53 | |
for the simple reason that somebody else is doing it. | 16:59 | |
How many people went to Charlotte last night | 17:05 | |
even though they did not have a ticket to the ball game, | 17:07 | |
simply because their fraternity brothers were going or their | 17:10 | |
roommate was going, it was the thing to do, the place to go. | 17:13 | |
How many young people have lowered their sex standards | 17:19 | |
for the exclusive reason | 17:22 | |
that they didn't want to be left out? | 17:25 | |
They had heard that it was the thing to do, | 17:27 | |
and they didn't want to be left out. | 17:30 | |
Now, the reason why this is particularly important | 17:33 | |
in this generation, | 17:36 | |
as opposed, perhaps to earlier generations is | 17:37 | |
that as the Harvard sociologist Sorokin has pointed out | 17:42 | |
in a book published three years ago | 17:45 | |
entitled the American sex revolution, | 17:47 | |
there has been in this present generation, | 17:50 | |
a cultivated emphasis upon everything pertaining to sex | 17:53 | |
so that the sex emphasis of the present civilization | 17:58 | |
is one that has gone far beyond | 18:03 | |
the normal expected emphasis upon one biological urge, | 18:05 | |
as opposed to others. | 18:11 | |
As Sorokin points out, | 18:14 | |
in our civilization, sex permeates TV, movies, magazines, | 18:17 | |
newspapers, art, the theater, commercialism, | 18:22 | |
and is used to sell everything from automobiles to cigars. | 18:26 | |
And as he further points out, | 18:31 | |
it seems that we cannot have even a livestock exposition | 18:33 | |
without the exhibition of sex in one form or another. | 18:36 | |
We have some evidence here in our own state that | 18:42 | |
Sorokin may be right. | 18:45 | |
A short time ago, there was in Winston Salem, | 18:47 | |
the untimely death of a beautiful girl. | 18:53 | |
Newspaper report of her death, which was published | 18:59 | |
while her remains lay at the funeral home as a corpse | 19:03 | |
carried the false statistics on the tape | 19:08 | |
measured statistics of her figure. | 19:11 | |
Kim's... Sorokin may be right. | 19:16 | |
We may have pushed this matter far beyond what is | 19:20 | |
either wholesome or normal. | 19:24 | |
Now the significance of that is this, that if an impression | 19:27 | |
is created by this, | 19:30 | |
that this is something which everybody does and does all the | 19:33 | |
time, then you see if I'm not involved in it, | 19:36 | |
whether married or not, | 19:39 | |
I'm being left out and nobody wants to be left out. | 19:41 | |
So we see that there are at least five motives, | 19:47 | |
which do not originate with sex at all, | 19:52 | |
which account for a significant percentage of the | 19:55 | |
illicit relationships in this area. | 19:59 | |
Now, what is very important | 20:03 | |
for us to remember at this point is, | 20:05 | |
that whatever may have been the real reason for this | 20:10 | |
neurotic sex activity, | 20:14 | |
as an attempt to solve a basic psychological problem, | 20:17 | |
this attempt proved to be not a solution at all to the basic | 20:22 | |
psychological problem, | 20:27 | |
because to whatever problem existed originally is added | 20:30 | |
the factor of guilt. | 20:35 | |
And when you mix inferiority and guilt, | 20:37 | |
you get a guilt complex, or when you mix hatred and guilt, | 20:41 | |
you a guilt complex, | 20:46 | |
and the guilt complex is far more difficult to eradicate | 20:49 | |
than any of the simple feelings which led to this | 20:53 | |
neurotic activity. | 20:56 | |
And so we should keep this in mind | 21:00 | |
as we approach this subject and as we think about | 21:04 | |
the reasons why there is so much | 21:06 | |
immorality, | 21:10 | |
and as we think soberly about the choices we shall make. | 21:11 | |
There is just one other unwholesome approach | 21:17 | |
to the subject of sex which should be cleared up in | 21:22 | |
even such a brief treatment of the subject | 21:26 | |
as is possible in one sermon. | 21:28 | |
And this has to do with the reasons we give ourselves for | 21:30 | |
not being promiscuous. | 21:33 | |
If it is true, as the old saying has it, | 21:38 | |
that the ultimate treason is to do the right thing | 21:41 | |
for the wrong reason, | 21:45 | |
then I think we better take a look at some of the | 21:47 | |
reasons we give ourselves for maintaining outwardly | 21:48 | |
the Christian principle and ethic of sex. | 21:53 | |
Some of these reasons are very unwholesome. | 22:00 | |
Take this one. | 22:04 | |
The daughter is packing, | 22:07 | |
getting ready to go away to college. | 22:08 | |
And mother comes into the room and says, "Now, dear, | 22:10 | |
just remember when you get to college, | 22:13 | |
that if you break the 10 commandments, | 22:17 | |
you may get pregnant." | 22:19 | |
Well, you might. | 22:22 | |
And if you did, it would be very bad. | 22:26 | |
But then on the other hand, | 22:31 | |
a good many people have broken the 10 commandments | 22:35 | |
and they didn't get pregnant. | 22:37 | |
And then here's this father helping his son | 22:42 | |
unload the suitcase at college. | 22:45 | |
And for the eleven hundredth time | 22:50 | |
he says to him just before leaving for home, | 22:52 | |
"Now son, remember what we've told you about sex? | 22:55 | |
Because if you don't, you may get a disease." | 22:59 | |
Well, you might. | 23:04 | |
And this disease is one of the serious health problems of | 23:06 | |
America today. | 23:10 | |
But again, | 23:12 | |
there is a possibility that you won't, | 23:14 | |
because a great many people have forgotten | 23:16 | |
what dad said about sex and did not get a disease. | 23:20 | |
I think the worst reason of all | 23:25 | |
is the one which young people usually give themselves, | 23:27 | |
for maintaining an outer | 23:31 | |
resemblance of Christian ethics. | 23:33 | |
They say to themselves, well, | 23:36 | |
if we don't practice the Christian principle, | 23:37 | |
the campus cop may come along and bang on the car door. | 23:43 | |
The fear of being caught is a powerful deterrent, | 23:49 | |
but it is not a good one. | 23:56 | |
There have been many people who were immoral and did not get | 23:59 | |
caught. | 24:04 | |
Now over against these dire threats of what might happen, | 24:06 | |
stands the normal human response to a challenge. | 24:12 | |
We generally expect people when challenged | 24:19 | |
to accept the challenge and try to beat the odds, | 24:23 | |
whether it's basketball | 24:27 | |
or debating or war or business or sex. | 24:29 | |
The natural human response is | 24:35 | |
to accept the challenge and try to beat the odds for the | 24:37 | |
sake of beating the odds. | 24:40 | |
But the greatest difficulty about these reasons of probable | 24:45 | |
peril is that we shall become preoccupied with these and | 24:50 | |
fail to note the certain consequences of immoral activity. | 24:57 | |
The certain consequences, | 25:04 | |
which come every time any person violates his standards. | 25:06 | |
The first is a two-fold realization. | 25:15 | |
The realization that I am | 25:19 | |
the kind of person | 25:24 | |
who will be sexually intimate outside marriage, | 25:26 | |
and my partner is the kind of person | 25:30 | |
who will be sexually intimate outside marriage. | 25:35 | |
Now this two-fold realization at first appears to be as | 25:40 | |
unimportant as it is obvious, | 25:45 | |
but actually this two-fold realization becomes a land mine, | 25:49 | |
which will explode when stepped on later. | 25:55 | |
And there is a second certain consequence that comes | 26:00 | |
and that is that when we prematurely attempt to reap the | 26:05 | |
fruits of marriage, | 26:10 | |
we rob the relationship of marriage | 26:13 | |
of some of its unique interest, | 26:17 | |
which God intended that it should have and which it must | 26:20 | |
retain if marriage is to be the enduring | 26:24 | |
and the happy relationship you want it to be. | 26:27 | |
Now these are certain consequences and there is one more. | 26:32 | |
By the practice of sexual intimacy outside marriage, | 26:38 | |
whether before or during marriage, | 26:43 | |
we associate physical intimacy with anxiety and guilt, | 26:47 | |
whether we do it consciously or intentionally or not, | 26:53 | |
we nonetheless do it, | 26:56 | |
so that in marriage | 26:59 | |
we find physical intimacy associated with anxiety and guilt. | 27:00 | |
And this is one of the ways by which great damage comes to | 27:05 | |
the marriage relationship itself. | 27:11 | |
Francis Merrill of Dartmouth, | 27:15 | |
in a book on courtship and marriage, | 27:17 | |
which was published last year, | 27:19 | |
points out that every study that has been made to date, | 27:22 | |
which touches on this point, | 27:26 | |
conclusively shows that your chances of happiness and | 27:29 | |
success in marriage are greater | 27:34 | |
if you refer, if you conserve and refer to marriage, | 27:37 | |
all physical intimacy. | 27:43 | |
And so it seems to come down to this, | 27:48 | |
that you need to make the choice | 27:51 | |
of what you want out of life. | 27:53 | |
Do you want a Christian marriage with its | 27:56 | |
tremendous fulfillment? It's thrilling exhilaration of joy, | 27:58 | |
completion, happiness, mutual respect, trust, love. | 28:02 | |
If you do, then you have to begin preparing for it. | 28:08 | |
And one of the kinds of preparation that is necessary is to | 28:11 | |
read the letter to her that has been published on sex, | 28:14 | |
to prepare for it by becoming the kind of person who will | 28:19 | |
inspire trust and confidence in your mate. | 28:23 | |
And by beginning to build a courtship with someone who is | 28:28 | |
worthy of your devotion and with whom you can be | 28:34 | |
romantically in love. | 28:37 | |
And now I would like to depart from customary homiletical | 28:41 | |
procedure just now. | 28:45 | |
And instead of giving the usual kind of conclusion, | 28:49 | |
I would like to end the sermon where it began, | 28:55 | |
with a consideration of the basic presuppositions, | 28:59 | |
which undergird all thinking about Christianity and sex. | 29:03 | |
First, everything in the world, | 29:09 | |
including the instincts and passions of the body were | 29:11 | |
created by Almighty God. | 29:13 | |
And he said that everything he created was very good. | 29:16 | |
Second, that it is his intention that we should glorify him, | 29:20 | |
not with sourness and a long face, | 29:25 | |
but with joy and happiness. | 29:28 | |
And third, | 29:31 | |
that he never places us in situations nor endows us with | 29:32 | |
instincts that create temptations, | 29:36 | |
we cannot overcome | 29:39 | |
And fourth, | 29:41 | |
there is a time and a place for every good value in life | 29:43 | |
and it is important to know the true time | 29:49 | |
and the true place. | 29:53 | |
Oh God who has made us for thyself and who has created us | 30:01 | |
in thine own image, grant us grace to keep that image alive. | 30:07 | |
May we not mar it by surrender to a baser image, | 30:14 | |
help us always to have the mind in us, | 30:18 | |
which was also in Christ Jesus, our Lord. | 30:21 | |
And now may the grace of the | 30:25 | |
Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. | 30:27 |
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