Martin Copenhaver - "The Giving Spirit" (January 3, 1999)

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-	It's wonderful to be here with you at Duke Chapel,	0:26
	especially on this particular Sunday in the season	0:31
	of Christmas, when we celebrate Epiphany.	0:36
	It's a day when we remember the story	0:42
	of the Magi's visit to the Infant Jesus.	0:44
	I've always loved this story.	0:49
	I don't know what it was like for you	0:52
	when you were younger, but it seemed to me	0:54
	as a boy that the Magi were the best roles	0:56
	in the Christmas pageant.	1:00
	Clearly, they got the best costumes,	1:03
	elegant, flowing, made of plush fabrics	1:07
	and regal colors like purple and gold.	1:12
	And each had his own distinctive crown.	1:16
	And unlike the shepherds, who would make their entrance	1:21
	from a side door of the church, the Magi got to march	1:24
	in stately fashion right down the center aisle,	1:29
	carrying their precious gifts, a spotlight on their backs.	1:34
	As they ceremoniously laid their gifts before the manger,	1:41
	the congregation would sing "We Three Kings of Orient Are."	1:43
	I've since learned that, as Matthew tells the story,	1:51
	the Magi were not kings at all.	1:53
	They were many things in an age	1:57
	when an educated person could still be many things,	1:59
	an age before specialization.	2:03
	They were versed in medicine, philosophy,	2:07
	astronomy, astrology, divination, and magic.	2:11
	They spent their lives studying the mysteries	2:17
	and passing along a little of what they had learned	2:21
	to others.	2:24
	In short, they were learned and scholarly people.	2:25
	They were eastern sophisticates.	2:29
	They probably had tenure. (crowd laughs)	2:31
	So contrary to the image presented	2:36
	in most Christmas pageants, what we have here	2:38
	are not three kings, but more like faculty members	2:41
	from the Department of Astrology and Philosophy	2:43
	(crowd laughs) from a fine eastern university.	2:46
	That is, instead of wearing royal purple gowns,	2:51
	we might be closer to the mark	2:54
	if we picture tweeds and khakis.	2:55
	But I love them nonetheless.	2:59
	You see, as the father of two young children,	3:03
	I always found it helpful to be able to point	3:05
	to the Magi as symbols of the true meaning of the season.	3:09
	When you're a child, it's easy to forget	3:16
	that the true spirit of the season is captured	3:18
	in giving rather than receiving.	3:20
	"Christmas is about giving," I would tell my children.	3:26
	"It's about giving as the Magi did,	3:29
	"without any expectation of anything in return.	3:31
	"It's about giving to others and giving generously.	3:36
	"Giving is what Christmas is all about."	3:40
	Like most children, when I was a boy,	3:47
	I did not focus on giving at Christmas.	3:48
	It was all about receiving.	3:51
	In fact, as a boy, I was an inveterate package-shaker.	3:54
	When no one was around, I would go to the Christmas tree	4:00
	and attempt to figure out what was inside.	4:02
	And I became quite good at it.	4:04
	I certainly had enough practice.	4:07
	So now, as a father myself and a package-shaker in recovery,	4:11
	it's good to be able to tell the story	4:17
	of the Magi to remind my children that Christmas is not	4:19
	about receiving, it's about giving	4:22
	without expectation of receiving anything in return.	4:25
	It's about giving to others and giving generously.	4:28
	Giving is what Christmas is all about.	4:31
	In time I learned that lesson.	4:36
	Now, as an adult, my most eager anticipation is reserved	4:38
	for those other packages with my name on them	4:42
	under the tree, the ones I am giving to others.	4:45
	"Open this one first," I will say	4:47
	if I can no longer contain myself.	4:49
	"Open this one from me."	4:51
	In fact, at Christmastime there's nothing I like more	4:56
	than giving gifts.	4:59
	Somewhere along the line in the slow, winding path	5:02
	from childhood to adulthood, my idea	5:07
	of a nightmare Christmas became not one	5:10
	in which I received no gifts, but one	5:12
	in which I was unable to give any gifts.	5:15
	I think of the unshaven and bloodshot man I passed	5:22
	on the streets of Boston in mid-December,	5:27
	standing in front of a store window in a worn coat,	5:31
	seemingly oblivious to the raw air of the night.	5:36
	He gazed with what looked to be great and heavy longing	5:40
	at the objects on the other side of the glass.	5:48
	At first I imagined that the look of longing originated	5:53
	from his desire to have some of these beautiful things	5:56
	from that window, perhaps to receive them as a gift.	6:00
	And that realization saddened me.	6:04
	But then it occurred to me, perhaps the source	6:08
	of his longing was something quite different.	6:10
	Perhaps, like many in his position,	6:12
	he would receive some gifts from well-meaning people	6:15
	and concerned organizations during this season.	6:19
	Perhaps, just perhaps, what he saw	6:22
	in the window were all the gifts	6:26
	that he longed to give to others but could not.	6:30
	And truly, in some ways, that would be much more difficult.	6:36
	Of course, I don't fully know how to interpret the look	6:45
	on the man's face, but I do know	6:47
	that from my own adult experience,	6:50
	that it can be difficult to receive gifts	6:52
	and to be unable to give any in return.	6:56
	Have you ever known people to whom you just can't seem	7:01
	to give anything?	7:05
	Or you try, but no matter what you do they always seem	7:08
	to be a couple of giant steps ahead of you?	7:11
	You drop by her house with a tin of cookies,	7:16
	and the next day she returns the tin filled with fudge,	7:20
	and a bottle of wine, and a wheel of cheese.	7:26
	Or there are those people, surely you know them too,	7:32
	who whenever you give them a compliment,	7:37
	they seem to brush it away and then proceed	7:39
	to give you two compliments in return.	7:41
	Or on your anniversary, you open	7:46
	an ornately wrapped little package	7:48
	and find there an engraved gold watch.	7:51
	It's a beautiful thing, a source of delight,	7:57
	unless you know that what you have	8:02
	for your beloved is a box of chocolates.	8:04
	All of a sudden, receiving the gift	8:09
	becomes awkward, embarrassing.	8:11
	You want to snatch it back and replace it	8:15
	with something comparable to what you have received.	8:17
	My family hasn't sent Christmas cards in years.	8:21
	Since our children were born, somehow	8:26
	we haven't found time to send any.	8:27
	But there are people who, every year, send us cards.	8:31
	They haven't scratched us off their list	8:36
	even though they haven't received a card from us for years.	8:38
	And I'm grateful they have stuck with us,	8:43
	but I always feel a bit awkward about it.	8:46
	I'm not comfortable always to be on the receiving end.	8:51
	For once, I'd rather be the one to send the cards.	8:56
	Let them feel awkward about it just one year.	9:00
	It may be more blessed to give than to receive,	9:07
	but sometimes giving is a whole lot easier.	9:10
	There is power in giving,	9:20
	and we want some of that power.	9:25
	For children, perhaps the most important lesson	9:31
	to learn is how to give.	9:33
	But I have concluded that for most adults,	9:38
	the more difficult lesson to learn is	9:41
	how to receive something when we may not be able	9:44
	to give anything in return.	9:47
	Jessamyn West writes, "It may be more blessed	9:53
	"to give than to receive, but there is more grace	9:56
	"in receiving than giving.	9:59
	"When you receive, whom do you love and praise?	10:03
	"The giver. When you give, the same holds true."	10:06
	I've noticed this about myself, and maybe it's true of you,	10:16
	that in some ways it's easier to give care than	10:21
	to receive it.	10:24
	Please understand that this is not a boastful statement.	10:28
	This is a confession.	10:31
	Remember, there is power in giving,	10:32
	so I would rather be the one to give care than	10:34
	to receive it.	10:37
	And I don't think I'm alone in this.	10:41
	In fact, this past Christmas season	10:44
	in my own congregation I was reminded again that many	10:46
	of us are better at giving care than receiving it.	10:50
	On the Sunday before Christmas, (clears throat)	10:52
	we invited members of the congregation	10:55
	to take poinsettia plants to those who are homebound	10:57
	or those who have experienced some loss	11:02
	or particular hardship or challenge in the past year.	11:04
	Well, this year a number of folks found that	11:11
	when they returned from delivering a poinsettia plant	11:13
	to someone in need, there was a poinsettia plant	11:16
	at their own door waiting for them.	11:21
	And more than one person expressed some awkwardness	11:25
	about that.	11:28
	"I have to receive a poinsettia?	11:31
	"I volunteered to give one,	11:32
	"but I certainly didn't volunteer to receive one.	11:34
	"Does someone think I need one?	11:38
	"Isn't there someone else who might need it more?"	11:41
	So yes, in many ways it's easier to give gifts	11:47
	than it is to be on the receiving end.	11:51
	There is power in giving gifts,	11:53
	and we want that power.	11:58
	As I've said, I used to praise the Magi	12:03
	for bringing gifts to the Baby Jesus,	12:05
	for making such a noble gesture.	12:06
	After all, I would tell my children,	12:09
	"Isn't giving gifts what this season is all about?"	12:10
	But I have come to see that the Magi	12:16
	were really rather poignant figures.	12:17
	Normally there is power in giving gifts.	12:22
	The Magi were used to being people of power,	12:26
	so the gifts that they bring to Jesus are the symbols	12:30
	of that power.	12:33
	Gold, which is the substance that can make	12:35
	any person feel as powerful as a king.	12:38
	And frankincense and myrrh, substances which are used	12:42
	to harness the world's mysteries through magic.	12:46
	Under normal circumstances those would be gifts	12:52
	of power given from people of power.	12:54
	When laid before the manger, however,	12:58
	these gifts are reduced to something meager and paltry,	13:02
	like lighting a candle as a gift for the Sun.	13:08
	They are glaringly useless gifts,	13:16
	when you come to think of it, glaringly useless	13:20
	for any baby and, particularly, for this one.	13:24
	Does this babe in any way need such human trinkets	13:27
	and trifles as these?	13:31
	The gift of this season that diminishes all	13:43
	of our gifts to insignificance is the gift	13:48
	that God has given to each of us	13:51
	in this birth we celebrate,	13:53
	the great God, who sent the stars spinning	13:56
	in their courses and rules over all,	14:00
	who gave us life itself as a gift,	14:05
	who could've chosen to remain distant	14:09
	from things human, to observe human sorrow	14:11
	and human joy with detachment,	14:15
	but instead abandoned the privileges	14:19
	of power and might in order to share the life we live,	14:21
	the life of bright days and dark nights,	14:26
	of salt tears and sweet laughter.	14:32
	What can we give in return for such a gift as that?	14:37
	We cannot begin to reciprocate.	14:45
	It is a gift of grace, that is, a gift	14:51
	that is not deserved and cannot be reciprocated.	14:53
	We have nothing to give that can even begin	14:58
	to balance the books,	15:01
	and that can pose a challenge.	15:05
	As the late Henri Nouwen noted, "Perhaps the challenge	15:09
	"of the gospel lies precisely in the invitation	15:12
	"to accept a gift for which we can give nothing in return."	15:16
	So I have concluded that the humility	15:25
	of the Magi is not manifest in their willingness	15:28
	to bring such valuable gifts to an infant lord.	15:31
	What is most humbling is the recognition that no gift	15:37
	that they might bring has any real value at all.	15:40
	These gifts, or any other they might offer,	15:47
	are not anything that this babe could possibly need.	15:49
	Before this infant, before this lord, the power	15:54
	of giving becomes the humility of receiving.	15:57
	Christmas, then, it seems to me, is about receiving a gift	16:07
	for which we can give nothing in return.	16:11
	That's why Stanley Hauerwas says	16:16
	that a church is "a gathering of people	16:17
	"who have received a gift without regret."	16:20
	There is power in giving, and Christians affirm	16:27
	that such power belongs to God.	16:31
	That's not always easy to accept,	16:35
	because, well, we'd rather be the ones with the power.	16:37
	It's not always easy to receive a gift without regret.	16:43
	In many ways that is more difficult	16:47
	than being the giver of gifts.	16:48
	So, in God's mercy,	16:50
	we are not left there.	16:56
	When I was a child, my parents showered gifts	17:01
	upon me, not only at Christmas but throughout every year,	17:04
	not just gifts of toys but gifts of life and love.	17:08
	Indeed, everything I had and everything I am	17:13
	was a gift from their hands.	17:18
	They did not give me these gifts	17:22
	because I deserve them, and indeed, there was nothing	17:24
	I could give in return, even if they were looking	17:28
	to be repaid.	17:31
	But even when I was a young package-shaker,	17:35
	there was something in me that longed to do just that,	17:41
	to be the giver of gifts	17:45
	and not always be the receiver of gifts.	17:49
	So, one year, when I was very young,	17:55
	I wrapped the plaster of Paris handprint paperweight	18:00
	I had made in school and put it under the tree.	18:07
	I suppose it was not the first gift I gave my parents,	18:14
	but I remember the sense of anticipation I felt	18:16
	at being able to give this gift.	18:19
	I have no reason to believe that my parents were eager	18:25
	to receive a handprint paperweight.	18:27
	To my knowledge it never appeared	18:32
	on any of their gift lists.	18:34
	To be sure, now I can see that they did not need it.	18:37
	But when they opened the package,	18:42
	it was with "oohs" and "aahs."	18:46
	They thanked me and embraced me.	18:51
	They did not need to receive such a gift,	18:57
	but I think they probably saw that I needed to give it.	19:01
	And when my mother died, among the things my siblings	19:10
	and I discovered in her apartment,	19:15
	carefully wrapped in tissue paper and safely laid	19:19
	in the back of a drawer was this handprint paperweight.	19:23
	The gracious givers of everything I had	19:32
	and everything I am became, for my sake,	19:37
	the gracious receivers of my gift to them.	19:41
	And I think God does the same for us.	19:48
	God needs nothing from us.	19:52
	Indeed, everything we have and everything we are,	19:56
	including the great gift we celebrate this season,	19:59
	we have received from God's hand.	20:02
	We cannot give anything in return.	20:07
	What can you give to the God who has everything?	20:10
	Perhaps only a handprint paperweight	20:16
	or something equally useless, like gold, frankincense,	20:22
	or myrrh.	20:28
	But God also sees that we feel a need	20:32
	to respond to God's great gift,	20:34
	and so God allows us to do just that	20:38
	by receiving our own gifts of praise and devotion.	20:41
	And the God who has given us everything, grace upon grace,	20:47
	graciously receives that gift.	20:53
	Amen.	21:00

Item Info

Title:

Martin Copenhaver - "The Giving Spirit" (January 3, 1999)

Description:

Sermon start time: (Part 1) 0:26. Sermon end time: (Part 1) 21:04.
On Epiphany, the preacher speaks of the dyanmics of receiving and giving gifts and reveals that there is power in giving gifts. God, the giving spirit, who gives us grace upon grace, and who doesn't need anything for what could God possibly lack or need, our gracious God receives our gifts and devotion. (Abstract created by Duke Divinity School staff.)

Permalink:

https://idn.duke.edu/ark:/87924/r47d2qp2r

Date:

January 3, 1999

Speaker:

Copenhaver, Martin

Liturgical Calendar:

Epiphany

Biblical Book:

Matthew

Chapter and Verse:

Matthew 2:1-12

Subject:

Contributor:

Duke University. Chapel

Identifier:

UA.17.01.0003 CS-0939
ref10029_uuk
uachapelsermaud
duke:320345
dcrau001583
ark:/87924/r47d2qp2r
9fce09b2-06ad-4dc1-bf08-5990071e68eb

Digital Collection:

Duke Chapel Recordings

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Duke University Chapel recordings, 1954-2005

Language:

English

Location:

United States
North Carolina
Durham (N.C.)

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The Duke University Chapel Recordings were transferred to the Duke University Archives beginning in 1970.

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Martin Copenhaver - "The Giving Spirit" (January 3, 1999)

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