P&G: Charmin Bath Tissue, 1970s
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| (distant train horn blaring) | 0:01 | |
| - | Mr. Wipple, why are you peeking on Mr. Hoffmeier's store? | 0:04 |
| - | Hoffmeier's letting them squeeze the Charmin. | 0:08 |
| I can't believe it, look! | 0:10 | |
| - | Mr. Hoffmeier, how come you let us squeeze the Charmin? | 0:13 |
| - | I give my customers what they want! | 0:15 |
| And Charmin's so big and fluffy, they want to squeeze it! | 0:17 | |
| Measure it yourself! | 0:21 | |
| - | Gee, Charmin's big and fluffy, all right. | 0:24 |
| - | It's so squeezably soft, it's irresistible. | 0:26 |
| - | Oh, look, Wipple's peeking at us. | 0:29 |
| - | Oh, peeky-poo, there Wipple. | 0:31 |
| Don't be shy, come in! | 0:33 | |
| Oh, Charmin's so big and fluffy, | 0:36 | |
| I'm letting the ladies squeeze it. | 0:38 | |
| - | Hoffmeier, I can't believe | 0:42 |
| you're letting them squeeze the Charmin. | 0:44 | |
| - | In my store, Wipple, | 0:45 |
| anybody can squeeze the charmin. | 0:47 | |
| Anybody but you. | 0:49 | |
| Announcer | Charmin, so big and fluffy. | 0:52 |
| So squeezably soft. | 0:55 | |
| - | It's irresistible! | 0:56 |
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