P&G: Charmin Bath Tissue, 1970s
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| - | Please don't squeeze the Charmin. | 0:01 |
| - | No, no, I hired you to imitate me. | 0:03 |
| - | Please don't squeeze the Charmin, now practice. | 0:06 |
| At last, I can be in more than one place at once. | 0:09 | |
| I dare 'em to squeeze. | 0:11 | |
| - | Oh, Charmin's got my kind of softness. | 0:13 |
| I love to squeeze Charmin. | 0:15 | |
| - | Please don't squeeze the Charmin. | 0:18 |
| - | Oh, you're not Mr. Whipple. | 0:20 |
| - | How soft can Charmin be, anyway? | 0:23 |
| - | Charmin is so soft, you can see, feel, | 0:25 |
| and hear the softness. | 0:27 | |
| See the softness? | 0:28 | |
| - | It looks soft. | |
| - | Feel the softness. | 0:30 |
| - | Feels soft and fluffy. | |
| - | Even hear the softness. | 0:34 |
| - | You're right (laughing). | 0:36 |
| - | Ladies, please don't squeeze the Charmin. | 0:37 |
| - | Oh, another fake Whipple. | 0:40 |
| - | I'm the real George Whipple. | 0:41 |
| - | If you're the real Whipple, you'll know | 0:43 |
| why we always squeeze Charmin. | 0:45 | |
| - | Because Charmin is so soft, you can see, feel, | 0:47 |
| and hear the softness, makes it so squeezably soft, | 0:50 | |
| it's irresistible. | 0:52 | |
| - | Please don't squeeze the Charmin. | 0:54 |
| Woman | You're the real Mr. Whipple, all right. | 0:57 |
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