- Mr. Whipple! 
- Mrs Grahams. 

- I'm returning this bargain-brand bathroom tissue. 

- Why? 

- My family says it's not soft enough. They want Charmin back. 

- But doesn't that save you a lot of money? 

- Well, I thought so but when I figured it out, I only saved a penny a day. 

- Only a penny a day? 

- That's all. 

- Please don't squeeze the Charmin. 

- Easier said than done Mr. Whipple. For my money, Charmin's squeezable softness is a real bargain.