- Any news for my gossip column, Mr. Whipple? 

- It's the Charmin squeezers again. See for yourself. 

- Hi, what's the story? 

- Charmin bathroom tissue's squeezably soft. 

- And that gentle fragrance. Squeeze for yourself. 

- Ladies, please! 

- He's not so soft. 

- But he's giving me my story. Mr. Whipple caught squeezing his own Charmin. 

Announcer: Squeezably soft Charmin.