- It really is soft! 
- It is! (women giggling) 

Woman: Marvelous! 

- (blows whistle) Ladies, please don't squeeze the Charmin. 

- You can squeeze all the tomatoes and melons you want, but you won't be squeezing Charmin bathroom tissue anymore. 

- Your new guard is good looking. 

- And efficient. He'll stop you from squeezing the Charmin. 

- Help, help, they won't listen to me. They're still squeezing the Charmin. 

- We can't help it. New Charmin is so squeezeably soft. 

- It's been improved! 

Woman: Charmin's irresistible now, gentler than ever. 

- And how about that gentle fragrance they've added? 

- Hey, yeah, that's great. 

- Stop. Stop. Turn in your whistle and report to frozen foods. You're through at the Charmin display. (blows whistle) Ladies, please don't squeeze the Charmin. 

Narrator: Don't squeeze Charmin in the store. Take it home and squeeze it. New Charmin bathroom tissue. Squeezeably soft.