(distant train horn blaring) 

- Mr. Wipple, why are you peeking on Mr. Hoffmeier's store? 

- Hoffmeier's letting them squeeze the Charmin. I can't believe it, look! 

- Mr. Hoffmeier, how come you let us squeeze the Charmin? 

- I give my customers what they want! And Charmin's so big and fluffy, they want to squeeze it! Measure it yourself! 

- Gee, Charmin's big and fluffy, all right. 

- It's so squeezably soft, it's irresistible. 

- Oh, look, Wipple's peeking at us. 

- Oh, peeky-poo, there Wipple. Don't be shy, come in! Oh, Charmin's so big and fluffy, I'm letting the ladies squeeze it. 

- Hoffmeier, I can't believe you're letting them squeeze the Charmin. 

- In my store, Wipple, anybody can squeeze the charmin. Anybody but you. 

Announcer: Charmin, so big and fluffy. So squeezably soft. 

- It's irresistible!